Greta's Birth Letter

She's one. It's amazing. She's amazing. I thought this would be an appropriate day to recount the experience of her birth.

The letter I wrote her about it last year is long, but, well... it was a big day for both of us. I figured she'd like the details some day.

Enjoy.

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13 December 2007

A Letter to My Sweet Baby Greta About Your Birth –

When I first found out I was pregnant, I instantly knew we’d be having a daughter and I was so excited but also a little scared. Your brother’s arrival had been terrifying and I didn’t quite know what to expect this time around.

The first half of our pregnancy was pretty uneventful – I was tired and queasy, but that was not at all uncommon. By the middle of the pregnancy, however, you were starting to show signs of being up to your big brother’s antics in the womb. Just like Fin, you and my body had teamed up to start causing a lot of contractions very early on. Luckily, this time we knew to take the contractions seriously and take precautions to make sure you didn’t arrive too early like Fin did.

We had shopped around for a doctor who would let us have a natural, drug-free birth this time after having had Fin by Caesarian section and found a doctor your dad and I both really liked and trusted. As much as we all wanted to go the non-medical route for your delivery, we knew we’d have to take some medical precautions and interventions to make sure you stayed in full-term and were healthy.

At 24 weeks, I was having so many contractions that the doctor wanted me to go to the hospital to be monitored. We ended up having to have two doses of drugs to get things to calm down and were eventually sent home. Two weeks later, at my monthly doctor’s appointment, we decided it was time to start the active process of keeping you inside. I was given a prescription for drugs to take at home when the contractions started up again and I was started on weekly hormone shots as well. We also got sent a machine to monitor my contractions every day, so for an hour every morning and every evening, I had to lie very still while attached to a machine so we could keep tabs on what you were doing in there. If things were too active, I had to take more drugs and do a bunch of things to try to get the contractions to stop – and then spend at least another hour on the machine. From 27 weeks on, I was talking to the nurses at least twice a day, and taking drugs to stop the contractions several times a week. At 28 weeks, despite our efforts to keep the contractions calm, my cervix was starting to dilate, which was not the news we wanted to hear. I was officially put on bedrest until at least 36 weeks.

After two weeks of bedrest, my cervix was even more dilated so I started having to take the drugs every 4 hours all day long to keep the contractions under control. I even had to wake up during the night to take them. And with the additional dilation, our doctor decided we needed to have a steroid shot to mature your lungs just in case you decided to show up early. The combination of the drugs to stop the contractions, the weekly hormone shots and the steroid shot for your lungs caused a terrible migraine headache that lasted six days. That was the least fun part of the entire pregnancy, but I knew it would all be worth it when you came out healthy and full-term. We managed the rest of the pregnancy with the drugs, but also with weekly acupuncture visits, chiropractic adjustments and pregnancy massage.

For the next several weeks, we seemed to have things under control. I was still having contractions every day and occasionally having to do extra monitoring sessions to get them under control, but I was not getting more dilated and you seemed happy to stay inside me for a while longer.

Finally, after 9 weeks of hormone shots, 8 weeks of daily contraction monitoring and 7 weeks of bedrest, I was allowed to be a “normal” pregnant woman again. We were officially 36 weeks along and while we still wanted you to stay in a few more weeks, we knew you’d be healthy and okay if you decided to show up. I had been telling you all along that you just had to stay in until Thanksgiving and then you were welcome to come out.

The day before Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving Day itself, I was having a lot of contractions and we all thought you’d be making an appearance very soon. However, things never really picked up, the contractions didn’t become regular enough to time and you decided to stay put. The Tuesday after Thanksgiving, we had another doctor’s appointment and learned that I was indeed dilating more (3cm, 80% effaced) and that you could come any day or still decide to stay put for a few more weeks. At this point, your dad and I were both very eager and excited to meet you, but also knew that every day you stayed inside was a day you could grow bigger and stronger before meeting the world.


The morning of that doctor’s visit, I was having more contractions but still not enough to time or to call true labor, but I knew things were starting to pick up. I decided to have lunch with a friend at the mall and walk around a bit to see if labor would start on its own. I didn’t start having more regular contractions, but I did have a bit of bloody show and I knew that losing my mucus plug was an early sign of labor. I was very excited to think I’d be meeting you in just a few days!

That night, things went pretty much as usual. I had some stronger contractions, but just like they had been for the last few days. We went to bed knowing you may be here in a few days or another week.

At about 2:30am your big brother Fin woke up and decided he needed some Mommy time. He wasn’t fussy or crying, he was just awake and wanting to cuddle with Mommy. We snuggled and talked and giggled in bed for a couple of hours and he finally fell asleep again at about 4:45am. Once he was asleep, I got up to use the bathroom and tried to go back to sleep myself.
I was lying in bed just dozing off when I suddenly felt a sharp pinch. I thought “Ow – that’s weird” and then felt a POP! I got up and hurried back to the bathroom and sure enough – GUSH – my water had broken! It was 4:55am on Tuesday, November 28, 2007 and I knew we’d be meeting our little girl in a few hours!

I woke up your dad and whispered to him that my water had broken. I wasn’t feeling contractions yet and knew they could take a while to start, but with your brother they had started right away and been very close together. I thought you’d give us a little more time, so I told your dad to go back to sleep and tried to lay back down myself to get some rest since I’d already been awake for a few hours with Fin. Of course, by this time I was too excited to sleep so I just tried to rest. Within a few minutes the contractions started and I began timing them. They were 5 minutes apart, but not too painful so I just waited and talked to you and to my body about how we were going to do this together and how excited I was to finally meet you.
I sent an email to work to let them know I would not be on that morning’s conference call and called our doula Kimberly about an hour after my water broke. She suggested going back to sleep also, but I knew that was going to be impossible. I called your grandpa Terry and aunt Kiza in Texas to let them know you were on your way and called both of your grandmothers who live here in town to let them know it was time. Your HaHa was going to be with Finny while we went to the hospital and your GaGa was going to come with us to help welcome you to the world. After all these phone calls, I finally called Kimberly back to let her know that the contractions were getting more intense and it was time for her to come over. I decided to take a shower to help deal with the contractions while we waited for Kimberly, HaHa and GaGa to get to our house.

By about 7am everyone had arrived. Fin was still asleep, your dad and Kimberly were helping me through the contractions using the hypnobirth relaxation techniques we’d been practicing, and GaGa and HaHa were bustling about to make sure everything was ready to go when we needed to get to the hospital. Fin suddenly woke up in the other room and was not happy to find himself alone, so your dad and I crawled back into bed with Fin to let him know that his little sister Baby Greta was finally on her way. He’d been talking to you and giving you kisses in my belly for months. He kept asking you to come out and play with him and he was very excited to learn that he was finally going to get to meet you.

We ended up sitting in the bed relaxing through the contractions for a while. Your dad brought me snacks and Kimberly massaged my feet while GaGa sat and worried about us (it’s what she does…). Finally, I told your dad I needed him to come sit behind me, and he propped himself up on pillows so I could lean against him as we breathed and relaxed through the contractions that were bringing you closer and closer to us. Fin eventually crawled back in bed with us and we spent a few last minutes as our family of just three celebrating that were about to grow to a loving family of four.

After a while, the contractions were getting harder to just relax and breathe through, so I thought walking around would help. As I moved off the bed I suddenly felt the need to use the bathroom again. Kimberly asked if I had already gone a few times that morning and I had, so we both knew this was a clear sign that you were moving lower. Our time at home was almost done.

I went into the bathroom and had a contraction so strong that I was on my knees holding on to the towel rod to get through it. As I walked out of the bathroom, both your dad and Kimberly were standing and saying it was time to go to the hospital. I agreed just as another contraction hit, and I was on my knees leaning over the bed. I mentioned that I might throw up (another sign that you were getting close), and Kimberly grabbed the trash can from the bathroom to bring in the car just in case.

We made it through the house to the garage while everyone was deciding who was going in which car. Kimberly asked if I wanted her in the car with us or if she should take her own, and I knew I’d need her with us to get through the 10 minute ride to the hospital. HaHa brought Finny outside so I could kiss him goodbye and remind him not to be scared and that he’d be meeting his little sister soon. GaGa was trying to clean out our car so Kimberly could get in the backseat and ride with us, and I realized your dad had placed the bikes in the garage so that I couldn’t open the car door. He had to move the car into the driveway so we could get in, and then we realized that Kimberly had parked her car partially blocking the driveway and we couldn’t get out.

There were a few moments of madness as your dad pulled our car out, Kimberly moved her car, HaHa and Fin said goodbye to everyone, and GaGa made sure she knew her way to the hospital – and all this time I was standing in the middle of the front yard by myself having contractions one on top of the other with nothing to lean on or hold on to and trying not to get too panicked about how quickly things had changed from calm and quiet to too much hustle and bustle.

We finally got in the car and left for the hospital at 8:30am. The contractions were coming hard and fast, and before we had even gone two blocks, I was telling your dad and Kimberly that I needed to PUSH. I felt the urge to push you out so strong that I was worried we were not going to make it to the hospital. Kimberly pointed out that it was too cold to let you be born in the car on the freeway, so if we weren’t going to make it to the hospital, we’d better get back home. Your dad did a quick U-turn, and Kimberly asked me if I could feel your head. I laid the seat all the way down and checked and was very relieved to feel absolutely nothing yet.

Once the seat was reclined and the immediate pressure was off my cervix, the need to push decreased. Keeping my hand down there just in case you decided to come out, I told your dad we could make it to the hospital, I wasn’t going to push, but we had to get there FAST. He did another U-turn and off we went.

During the car ride to the hospital, the contractions were very, very strong, and I could no longer just breathe through them. I knew I couldn’t push yet so instead I yelled. With each contraction, my voice rose as the intensity increased, “OhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-kay. Okay, okay, okay.” I had to keep telling myself and you that we were going to be okay, we were going to make it to the hospital and you were going to come out just perfect. Between contractions, we worked on finding a way to call the doctor and tell her we were on our way. We hadn’t called from the house because things weren’t moving so quickly, and once we got in the car, we realized that your dad’s cell phone barely had enough battery power to make the call and my cell phone was in my purse – under the seat. Your dad was eventually able to grab my purse for Kimberly to make the call, and we knew Dr. Brass would be on her way soon.

We arrived at the hospital and a nurse ran out to meet us with a wheelchair. I knew I was going to have to move my hand to get out of the car, but I was terrified. During the contractions, I had felt quite a bit of fluid continuing to gush out of me. I knew when I moved my hand I’d have to see if it was blood or just amniotic fluid. When your brother was born the blood during the contractions was the first sign that something was wrong and I was so scared that I would see that again. But with your dad, Kimberly and the nurse all waiting for me to get out of the car, I just took a deep breath and pulled my hand away. Everything was clear, so I knew we were both still doing just fine. I moved into the wheelchair and the contractions continued one on top of the other as they pushed me into the hospital.

As they wheeled me quickly to Labor & Delivery, I kept yelling through the contractions and feeling gush after gush of fluid come out. Kimberly later told me we left a trail of fluid from the car to the delivery room. The nurses kept asking who our doctor was, if you were my first baby, when my water broke, etc. When they learned I was having a VBAC and that our doctor was not there yet, they went into a bit of panic and started paging any OB in the hospital and any anesthesiologist to come to us just in case something went wrong and we needed emergency surgery, though I knew all of that would be unnecessary.

We got into our room and I moved to the bed so the nurses could see how close you were to coming out. As we expected, I was completely dilated and ready to push. I asked what time it was again between contractions and it was 8:51am. I had been in labor for four hours and we knew you were only a short time away from joining us.

While we were getting situated in the hospital room, I realized that there were about 20 various hospital staff bustling around the room to make sure we were ready if you came before our doctor arrived. They were getting me hooked up to monitors, trying to take my blood pressure and give me an IV all while I was having very strong contractions and continuing to yell “OhhHHHHHHHHHHH-kay” through them all. They blew through two veins trying to get the IV in and I even stopped in the middle of one contraction to ask them to please wait until the contraction was over before sticking me with another needle.

In the very short pauses between contractions, I talked to your dad and Kimberly and they fed me ice chips. My yelling through the contractions varied between “Okay” and a few “Woooo-hoooo!”s as I got more excited that you were on your way. I even sang a bit to your dad between contractions because our little family was growing and we were about to have a daughter.

Finally, after about 20 minutes Dr. Brass arrived at the hospital. She had been pulled over by a police officer for speeding on her way to meet us, but luckily he believed her when she said she had a patient in labor and did not give her a ticket. She watched through a few contractions and felt where you were and told me it was time to push you out. Your dad, Kimberly and a couple of the nurses in the room helped get me into a position to push and then… I pushed.

Someone mentioned they could see your head and as I opened my eyes, I saw that your dad had seen you. I asked if it looked cool or gross and he said “cool” so I asked for a mirror so I could watch you come out, too. The nurses quickly wheeled a mirror so I could see and I pushed again. Sure enough, I could see the top of your little head as you came out of me! It was very cool (but also kind of gross.)

I continued pushing for a few minutes, with the doctor and nurses telling me when to hold my breath, push, and breathe again. I thought it was funny when they would tell me to take another deep breath because they didn’t know we had been practicing hypnobirthing and yoga breathing and I was never actually out of breath yet when they would tell me to breathe again. As we got closer, the doctor eventually decided you needed a little extra oxygen, so they gave me an oxygen mask and I really worked on getting you out. Two more pushes and I felt the burning sensation of your head actually coming in to the world. I opened my eyes just in time to see your whole head come out – you had such sweet round little cheeks! Dr. Brass did a quick suction of your mouth and nose and I gave one more push and your whole tiny little body just slid right out.

And there you were – perfect and healthy in every way. Everything we had done to keep you in long enough and make sure you had time to grow big and strong had paid off. You were finally here! You were born at 9:31am on Wednesday, November 28, 2007 and weighed 7lbs, 3.3oz and were 20.5 inches long. Your Apgar score was a 9 both times.

Dr. Brass knew we wanted to keep you close right away, so they placed you on my chest immediately and put a blanket over us to keep you warm. Your dad and I just kissed you and stared at you and kissed each other in amazement. You stared back and after a few minutes you gave a little cry to let us all know your lungs were good and strong. Dr. Brass soon said that your umbilical cord had stopped pulsing and asked if your dad wanted to cut the cord. He was a little unsure but did it anyway.

I got to hold you and cuddle with you for a while, then your dad got to hold and cuddle with you while I got stitched up and cleaned up a bit. You were even ready to try to nurse pretty quickly and were great at latching on from the very start. Once all the cleaning and initial bonding was done, Kimberly asked if we were ready for visitors and we said yes. Someone went and got your GaGa from the waiting room and the stream of people who love you and want to hold you and kiss you began.

We eventually moved into a room for recovery and HaHa brought your big brother Fin to meet you. He had picked out a special “Happy Birthday” balloon as a gift to you and as soon as he was lifted into my bed to meet you, the first thing he said was “Tickle Baby Greta” as he reached out to you. Like everyone else, he gave you lots of hugs and kisses and was very happy to meet you.
We only had to stay in the hospital one night and you were never more than a few inches away from us except for the one time they had to take you to be weighed after your middle of the night feeding. Otherwise, you have been within reach of a parent or grandparent every single moment of your life, which is so nice and different from the experience of your brother being in the NICU for so many days.

We came home and we have discovered that you are a good nurser, a good sleeper and almost never cry or complain unless you’re cold and getting your diaper changed. Your big brother just wants to show you everything he knows and play with you all day long and doesn’t recognize that you’re still too little for most of the toys he wants to share with you.

We are very, very blessed to have you as our daughter. Even though you haven’t done much more than eat, sleep and stare at us over the last two weeks, we all agree that you are so beautiful, so sweet and so wonderful. Thank you for joining our family and making our home complete. We love you sweet baby girl.

Love,
Mommy