I am Blessed and Thankful

A few days ago, I realized that this is the time of year that I tend to fall off the blog-wagon. It's not because I don't have things about the family that I want to capture, record and share with others. It's because there are so many amazing and wonderful things happening that I often find myself too busy and tired to sit down and get online.

I still want to share pictures of Fin's birthday and his party with all his friends and the giant Batman bounce house, I want to share pictures of Greta's first haircut a few weeks ago and even her first pigtails a few weeks before that, and I want to share pictures of my desert babies enjoying our recent rain storms the way kids in other parts of the country celebrate the first snowfall. I want to share their annual check ups from this week and marvel at how much they've grown and all the amazing, amusing things they say every day.

But I'm making myself take the time to sit down and write tonight rather than wrap Christmas presents or clean the house or even just relax and read for fun because today has been one of those days that just makes me feel so incredibly blessed and thankful for all the love and joy in my life.

Nothing special happened today. Nothing marvelous or incredible, except for all those little things that are marvelous and incredible every single day of my life. But something made me take notice of them today and before I knew it, I was crying simply because of the beauty of it all.

I had a meeting downtown today. This is not at all unusual for me. In fact, I have a meeting with this group of people for this grant pretty much every two weeks. We meet at a library in central Phoenix to work on doubling the rate of students going to college from underrepresented and disadvantaged backgrounds. I think this is a great project on which to be working and I love that my job allows me to work towards goals like this.

But the introspection started today because of the stairs at the library. I almost always take the stairs over the elevator when I can. It's just something I've done for years now. But I really like the stairs at this particular library. They are a very cool stone, have brushed metal handrails, are open and wide and not too steep. The library itself has a lot of open space and glass walls and I always wonder why anyone would take the elevator if they don't physically have to.

So today, as most times when I attend meetings at the library, I took the stairs and thought to myself, "I'm thankful that I am physically capable of taking these stairs."

I sat through the meeting and was very conscious of the fact that I am congested and seem to be fighting off a cold. I feel fine and am 90% sure it's just allergies, but I was concerned about other people being worried about germs so I was diligent about using hand sanitzer any time I blew my nose, keeping tissues at the ready in case I sneezed, etc. And I thought to myself, "I am thankful that my biggest health concern right now is a cold. I am blessed that I don't have cancer or any other major medical issue. I'm glad my nose is chapped and my hands are chapped from washing them so much because if that's the extent of my health concerns, I'm doing pretty darn well today."

After the meeting, as I went back down the stairs, I passed an older gentleman who was taking the stairs very slowly, two feet on each step, and I realized that I have so much more to be thankful for than just being able to take the stairs and having only a cold to worry about. I am thankful that my body allows me to do 90% of the things I want it to do without even having to think about it. Despite my physical imperfections, which I seem to be instantly able to focus on and scrutinize, I rarely have to worry that my body will not allow me to do something I want to do. Sure, I would have to train for a while before running a race, but if I just want to go for a walk, a hike, a jog, a bike ride, chase my kids, climb stairs, dance around the kitchen, or do flips in a bounce house, I CAN.

While we had been in the meeting, the weather outside got a little crazy. A storm blew through town with pretty high winds and lots of rain, but the sun broke through a few minutes before our meeting was over and I was glad that I wasn't going to have to drive through the worst of it. As I got in the car to drive home, the sky above me was still dark and cloudy, but the sun was shining on the mountains in the distance and I was thankful to live in such a gorgeous part of the world.

As I drove home, the radio station reported that the storm had included a very bad dust storm that had led to a major collision on the freeway. At least 20 cars had been involved and there were four fatalities reported at that time. I do not know the extent of the damage from that dust storm, but I know there are families out there tonight and every night getting the worst possible news. My heart and prayers go out to them.

So, while I was already feeling contemplative and introspective today, this news made me all the more thankful for the incredible things in my life.

Around this time last year I realized that from the middle of October until the middle of February, we have some sort of birthday, holiday or event at least every ten days, if not more often. My best friend, mother-in-law, dad, sister, daughter, grandmother, son, nephew, brother-in-law, mom and other brother-in-law have birthdays. We have Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and Valentine's Day. We have our dateiversary and our wedding anniversary. And those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head. Suffice it to say, this time of year is busy, stressful and all around crazy.

But today I decided to change my approach a bit.

Instead of stressing about getting the holiday cards out on time and worrying about how many to order and who to send them to, I'm thankful that I have so many people that I care about to want to send holiday greetings and wishes. (And yes, the cards went out on December 22nd, in case you don't get it until after Christmas.)

Instead of worrying about how much everything costs this time of year (and trust me, with both kids' birthdays falling between Thanksgiving and Christmas, this is an expensive time of year), I'm thankful that I have enough to share. While I was at the post office mailing those holiday cards, there was a man sitting on a counter in the corner, just huddled half asleep inside his coat. He was not begging or asking for anything, he was only seeking refuge from the cold. I knew he was probably only going to be warm for another hour or so, so I approached him with the little bit of cash I had on me at the time and simply asked if it would help him out. I know that one gesture won't change his situation, but I'm thankful that I was in a place to at least let him know that someone saw him and wanted to help.

Instead of worrying about how messy and cluttered my house is all the time, I'm thankful that we have such an abundance of books and toys and clothes that I have clutter to worry about. I'm thankful to have a house we can afford in a safe neighborhood we like that we can fill with our mess.

Instead of complaining that my husband rarely sees the messes around him all day and I always come home to a trashed house, I'm thankful that he wants and is able to stay home with our children. I'm thankful that I have three people I love at home making the place a mess while I'm at work. I'm thankful that I have a job I love that financially allows us to have one parent home with the kids. And I'm thankful that the kids have grandparents around who want to and get to spend time with them often so Dave can also do some of the writing and film work that he loves to do.

And I am so, so thankful for my children. They are funny and crazy and independent and strong willed and beautiful and smart and fearless and sweet and loveable and generous and inquisitive and brave and healthy and strong. With Fin's birthday a few days ago, I have been remembering his arrival into the world and what a scary, rocky start we got off to. I often just look at him and am amazed at how well he's done and how far he's come from that tiny little guy in the NICU hooked up to tubes and monitors that I didn't even get to meet or hold until he was a day old to this taaaaaall, creative four year old that makes me laugh every single day. My children are my life's biggest blessing.

In the course of thinking of all I have to be thankful for, I also thought of my grandmother. She turned 90 years old last week. She suffered a major stroke a couple of months ago and has since had pneumonia and surgery for a blood clot. But she has also made incredible, incredible progress. She went from complete paralysis on her left side to now being able to push herself a few inches in her wheelchair and even take a few assisted steps in therapy. She has regained enough strength that she can fall out of bed. Of course, this is not a good thing for her to do, but the fact that she's strong enough and can move herself enough to do it is great. She still has so many things she cannot do on her own and is frustrated and exhausted and depressed about her situation, but every time she laughs or tells a joke or replies to my, "I love you" with her standard, "I love you more," I am so incredibly thankful that she is here with us. I am thankful that my children have gotten to know her a bit and that she thinks of my kids as her babies.

I usually do not really start thinking about New Years Resolutions until a few weeks into the new year, if at all. I've already decided on a few resolutions for 2010 and I intend to start working on them now.

I intend to simplify my life. I will try to cut myself and those around me some slack. I will be more generous with forgiveness. I will work to be and stay healthy. I will try to eat better, sleep more, play more, laugh more and worry less. I will hug more. I will tell and show people that I appreciate them and all they bring to my life. I will work toward some lifelong dreams and allow myself to have new ones.

I am blessed and joyous and thankful. My life is good. Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and have a blessed New Year.