And So It Begins - CANCER.

In January of 2009, I found a lump in my left breast. Dave was out of town on a climbing trip and because he tends to be a worrier, I simply made an appointment with my OB/GYN for an exam a few days later. I was still nursing Greta, so I was really hoping she'd simply say it was a milk duct. Unfortunately, she felt it immediately and we scheduled an ultrasound for that afternoon. Once the u/s was done, I let Dave know what I'd found and we waited several days for news.

The report came back that it was just a fibroadenoma - a benign cyst - and nothing to worry about but worth keeping an eye on. I continued doing my self-exams and knew it was there, but I tried not to worry about it too much.

A few months passed and we followed up with another u/s. At that point, I asked the radiologist to explain more of what they were seeing and it turned out that the fibroadenoma they were finding in the exam was NOT the lump that everyone could feel. That one wasn't showing up in the u/s at all. The doctor said it could just be where my breast tissue met the muscle and not to worry about it. I asked repeatedly if I needed to wean Greta so we could follow-up with mammograms and additional tests and I was told that she could wean on her own and there was no indication in the exams that we needed to hurry with follow-ups.

After a few more months of feeling the damned lump and knowing it wasn't showing up in the u/s, I decided it was time to wean Greta. She nursed a final time on Jan 1, 2010 and I scheduled a mammogram and u/s follow-up for six weeks later. (And the word mammogram always makes me think of the "Monorail" song from the Simpsons, so if you've ever wondered why my Facebook status is occasionally just "monorail", well now you know I was getting a mammogram that day.)

In Feb 2010, I had my first mammogram, with a follow-up u/s. Once again, I got a call from my doctor's office a few days later saying "everything is probably benign". At that point, I asked what "everything" meant and was told there were two fibroadenomas and a "probable lymph node" that they were watching. I was scheduled for another follow-up in May for a more focused examination of the area.

May 2010 brought my 35th birthday (halfway to seventy!) and my second mammogram with another u/s. I said I wasn't going to leave until someone talked to me about the entire exam, despite their policy that the radiologist can't give any results. A tiny russian woman with a thick accent held my hand and showed me films. She pointed out the two fibroadenomas we'd been watching and the "probable lymph node". She also said there were two areas of calcification that they were watching because they could be precursors for cancer. She said at that time she couldn't tell me I DIDN'T have cancer, but she didn't feel like any immediate follow-up was necessary. She said I could request an immediate biopsy of the calcifications, but it was an intrusive step that she didn't think was indicated at that point unless it was going to keep me from sleeping. I told her I would try to put it all out of my mind for a while and follow up in November as recommended. I stopped doing my self-exams for peace of mind and tried to not think about the lump that I'd been feeling for over a year.

However, in June, Dave was out of town again (no idea why I always find these things when I'm alone) and I happened to brush my hand along the side of my left breast and was amazed at what I felt. The spot that had been pea-sized and somewhat hard to find was suddenly the size of a dime. I pointed it out to Dave when he got home that night and he was immediately concerned. The follow-up with my doctor and another mammogram and u/s were scheduled for June 22, 2010.

We did a basline mammogram of both sides and a focused look at the problem areas along with another u/s. When the tech walked back into the room with the radiologist and another nurse, I knew what was coming. The new radiologist started with, "Honey, how old are you?" I replied, "Oh crap, that's not a good way to start."

She told me there were three lesions that had her VERY concerned (which she kept repeating) and that she had already called my doc to get an order for a biopsy. She told me that she would biopsy two of the three tumors, but she was confident that if the results came back negative, all that meant was that they were wrong, because this WAS cancer.

She was right. The biopsies revealed that I have aggressive invasive ductal carcinoma in the left breast. We are moving quickly with our next steps and I will keep you all updated as much as I can with this site. Thank you all for your love and support! I couldn't do this without you! <3